I’ve been having some difficulty sleeping lately. I’m not sure what it’s related to, but I finally broke down and went to the doctor. Aside from the obvious, being overweight and coming down off a very stressful lifestyle, there’s nothing wrong with me other than I may be one of the following:

1. Depressed
2. Stressed
3. Not breathing in my sleep correctly

Doesn’t it seem like there should be a more.. accurate answer?

They say sleep is a number of things; it restores our body to a state where we can continue living without decay, it allows the subconscious to take control of us and show us where we may end, it pries out all of your hopes and fears to display as a movie playing slowly through your life.

I think it’s a great way to pass the time.

I’m on strict orders now, by the doctor that I’ve met once in my entire life, to stay out of my bed until I fall asleep or risk losing my ‘sleep hygiene.’ That doesn’t sound too good. Apparently, doctor’s think that if you get right in bed and only use it for sleep, you are teaching your body lesson. Let me fill you in on something though, I’m not a dog that can be trained to salivate at the sound of a bell. I think my sleep issues do fall within being stressed or depressed but I’m not sure what the answer to those problems are.

Ah well. As my transformation over the winter continues I hope we can come to some conclusion as to why I can’t sleep other than those vague diagnoses.

I do tarot readings on my life from time to time to gain a new perspective. It’s just a fun way of learning more about the way you feel about things. I recommend doing it to your favorite song on Winamp and going to Tarot by Facade it’s a great site where you can pick which layout you want and your deck. I always have gone with Celtic Cross which is the most familiar layout. It gives a good sense of your overall aura.

I do miss blogging this has been fun today. If you want to read my own tarot reading, I’ve copied it below. Feel free to leave yours and your own comments!

The card not shown but at the center of the cross, represents the atmosphere surrounding the central issue. Six of Pentacles (Success): A time of prosperity and profit. Success and generosity in material things. Power and influence turned to noble pursuits. Philanthropy, and the balancing of physical and spiritual life. May suggest gifts or aid to one in need.

The card visible at the center of the cross represents the obstacle that stands in your way – it may even be something that sounds good but is not actually to your benefit. Seven of Pentacles (Assessment): A pause to check on the progress of your labors. Making difficult financial decisions. Exercising patience and perseverance. Evaluating the status of your work and your options for the future.

The card at the top of the cross represents your goal, or the best you can achieve without a dramatic change of priorities. The Fool: Fearlessness, imagination, open-mindedness, and an adventurous spirit. Freedom from cares and worries. Ideas, thoughts, and impulses coming from a completely unexpected place. Nonchalance at the threshold of gaining all or losing all. Extravagance and intoxication with life. The pure and undifferentiated power of creation itself, where ultimate knowledge and oblivion are unified.

The card at the bottom of the cross represents the foundation on which the situation is based. Ten of Cups (Satiety): Fulfillment and joy in life and love. Feeling peace, tranquility, and contentment in friends and family. Taking delight in one’s good fortune.

The card at the left of the cross represents a passing influence or something to be released. The Magician, when reversed: Trickery, demagoguery, and artful deceptions. The use of knowledge and skill for selfish gain or destructive purposes. The abuse of technology. Incompetence and uncertainty. A lack of will power. A fatal flaw in a great work.

The card at the right of the cross represents an approaching influence or something to be embraced. Five of Swords (Defeat), when reversed: Refusing to achieve success through personal degradation. Friendship maintained through the abandonment of a dishonorable gain. Slander and infamy avoided.

The card at the base of the staff represents your role or attitude. The Star: New hopes and splendid revelations of the future. Insight, inspiration, courage and enlightenment of the spiritual self. Body and mind and converging towards the light at the end of a dark time.

The card second from the bottom of the staff represents your environment and the people you are interacting with. Nine of Swords (Cruelty): Debilitating mental anguish or ill health. Being dragged down by the dishonor of others. Participation in a shameful or regrettable act. Inescapable guilt, mistrust, and doubt. May indicate a death or other catastrophic loss.

The card second from the top of the staff represents your hopes, fears, or an unexpected element that will come into play. The Hanged Man: Pausing to reflect. Surrendering to an experience. Adjusting to new ideas through sacrifice. Opening oneself to intuition and enhanced awareness. Letting go of past patterns and growing beyond them. Inner peace, faith, and serenity.

The card at the top of the staff represents the ultimate outcome should you continue on this course. Eight of Pentacles (Prudence): Dedicating yourself fully to a task. Learning a new craft or skill. Applying painstaking attention to detail. Industriousness and the efficient completion of tasks. Sticking with a project long enough to see it through.